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The Happiest Couple in the Bar

November 23, 2013  Author: Anthony Pacheco Category: Not Exactly Random   0 Comments

I am a people watcher. Everyone is to some extent; people are fascinating don’t ya know. Most writers start watching and listening to people almost in a Mr. Stalker McStalker way. I am no exception. I started to hang out in bars during lunch and happy hour just to absorb it all.

When my writing started in earnest in 2006, I also embarked on some heavy-duty gender studies after an epiphany about men and women while doing guerrilla just-in-tie research on Hurricane Katrina.

These two events (people watching and hurricane epiphany) intersected. I became attuned to a certain vibe women were giving off (hey I told you–Stalker McStalker). These women were single and in play but how they went about dealing with the opposite sex was not what I was expecting.

Some men, to these women, were literally invisible. There  were not unattractive men, either. Some men caught their eye and they responded with obvious “approach me!” signals. When approached by someone deemed attractive they smiled and went into Girl Mode at the flick of a switch. But even when approached by someone they did not send cues to, they responded positively if the man  was simply being friendly in a warm way. So on and so forth. I could go on and on but the gist is these women were intense. How they responded and whom they responded to was a complex formula their brains processed in real-time about as easy as breathing.

It was at this time I recalled something very interesting a friend of mine said to me when we were discussing some movie I have since forgotten. Betty (named changed to protect the guilty) told me “You can’t lie to a woman in her zone; she might let you get away with it, but she’ll know you lied and will use that against you at an opportunistic time of her choosing.”

So I went back to Betty. Betty, why do single girls treat talking to men with the intensity as if their life depended on it but at the same time with the ease of super computer chomping on data?

Betty laughed. “That’s the woman’s burden,” she said.


“The woman’s burden. The single girl’s life does depend on it. ‘It’ being attracting and falling in love with the right man. Because if she’s wrong, not to long ago, she was dead. Even with the extended families of old, the wrong mate meant the best parts of her life were over. Not only was she in a precarious position without the proper man at her side, she was saddled with a child from this defective father.”

Ah, I said. I get it.

“So she’s got girl powers. She is simultaneously aware of everything and nothing because knowing everything is a burden and things like avoiding dying are instinctive. The woman’s burden.”

Now about this time I was thinking Betty was amazingly wise but also full of shit. That’s not a burden, I told her. That’s amazing! Amazingly beautiful.

“Whatever (eye roll).”

Betty was a pessimist. I put distance between Betty and I, despite her providing an enormous shortcut to my understanding of the human condition, as I had become wise in my own way and was dissociating with negative people. People whose goal in life was to passive-aggressively drag everyone down with her terrible brand of narcissism, for it is a narcissistic trait to reduce people to your level to ease your own troubles.

And we come to the heart of this post, which is not about what women do, but a certain type of woman. Over the years I have met Bettys aplenty. It takes a soul-crushing discord to turn something amazing as a girl in her zone and call, and worse, believe, it a burden. What, I wondered, and whom, was the counter to Betty?

Enter the libertarian girl. Think about the enormous will power, discipline and principles needed for a woman to become a libertarian, a philosophy and way of life that runs counter to the herd mentality in so many ways as to almost defy belief.

I’ve watched these libertarian women (again, Stalker McStalker) and have come to realize intrinsic girl powers coupled with the libertarian non-coercion principal is an amazing feminine trait. The women fill the room with the presence and smile at a whim. I’ve witnessed them charming everyone they meet while at the same time repelling negative people as if they had a can of Fuck-Ups Be Gone in their hand. She is simultaneously aware of the beauty in people when you don’t force them to do what you want either directly or by proxy and yet not aware of it at the same time. Her life game dominates her girl game.

Paired with a man funneling his masculinity into the libertarian goodness of live-and-let-live and his own disburden of the removal of zero-sum games in his thoughts, the libertarian woman and the libertarian man are the happiest couple in the bar. For they have each liberated themselves beyond their gender while at the same time basking in it.  Everyone in that bar, to this couple, is good until proven otherwise, and coupled in liberty in deeds and thoughts even at the wet-ware level, they are truly the happiest couple in the bar because, really, how could they not be?

The Happiest Couple in the Bar

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