Best Christmas Present, Ever!
Does The Wife Unit love me or what?
Oh, Liara!
In Mass Effect, it was FemShep, Liara and Tali. We saved the galaxy.
In Mass Effect 2, she broke my heart, but I won her back.
I wonder if I can get The Wife Unit to dye her hair blue on my birthday…
The following video is the culmination of two epic action role-playing games, with the last installment due in March.
I could write an entire essay over how emotionally compelling the female Shepard romance with Liara was. In Mass Effect, she was this naive, geeky beauty that endeared me to her feminine, yet alien, ways. On the battlefield, paradoxically, she was a holy terror.
In Mass Effect 2, she flat out broke my character’s heart. She was distant, hard, and withdrawn. Stepping outside the context of the Mass Effect Universe, I thoroughly felt the writers had lost it completely.
Then Lair of the Shadowbroker, the DLC of all DLCs comes around and smacks you alongside the head. The setup was perfect. The voice acting was perfect. It was epic.
And it was romantic.
My ending was slightly different because I didn’t lose any team members and I had a little black party dress on, but everything else is on the money.
Games like this is why I don’t go see movies hardly at all.
WINNERS of THE IONIA SANCTION Advance Reader Copies!
Free stuff! For just dropping by and saying hello! How cool is that?
I used random.org to select my two winners.
- The winner of the Virgin Never Before Read and Unspoiled by Human Hands ARC goes to Steph Schmidt
- The winner of the Slightly Used By The Wife Unit ARC goes to Brandi Cruickshank
I’ve sent you two mail! Reply back with your address and you can read the book before of the Unwashed Masses(TM).
Damn, I love books.
Best,
Anthony
Win a Free ARC of Gary Corby’s The Ionia Sanction
Details below!
Athens, 460 B.C. Life’s tough for Nicolaos, the only investigating agent in ancient Athens. His girlfriend’s left him and his boss wants to fire him. But when an Athenian official is murdered, the brilliant statesman Pericles has no choice but to put Nico on the job.
The case takes Nico, in the company of a beautiful slave girl, to the land of Ionia within the Persian Empire. The Persians will execute him on the spot if they think he’s a spy. Beyond that, there are only a few minor problems:
He’s being chased by brigands who are only waiting for the right price before they kill him.
Somehow he has to placate his girlfriend, who is very angry about that slave girl.
He must meet Themistocles, the military genius who saved Greece during the Persian Wars, and then defected to the hated enemy.
And to solve the crime, Nico must uncover a secret that could not only destroy Athens, but will force him to choose between love, and ambition, and his own life.
I’m giving away not one but TWO Advanced Reader Copy’s of Gary Corby‘s The Ionia Sanction.
(one, two ARCS AH AH AH!)
All you have to do to win is:
**Comment below with your email
**Have a valid postal address somewhere in the world
That’s it. Don’t you love simplicity? I sure do!
I will randomly select two winners on Sunday, October 23.
I will put that copy in the mail on Monday. That version will be an virgin ARC, waiting for your hands in breathless anticipation.
The other copy will go out sometime next week after my lovely wife is done reading it.
Which leads me to “How Gary’s Book Almost Caused a Divorce,” by Anthony Pacheco, Rehabilitated Hack Writer.
See, there I was, innocently editing my latest novel, when I get an email from Gary. Gary asks hey, do you want an ARC or two for giveaways?
I’m sitting in The Writer Chair(TM) at home, and go something like “Ah, man.” This is where I get into trouble.
Wife Unit: What?
Anthony: Gary wants to send me an ARC of his next book.
Wife Unit: What’s an ARC?
Anthony: That’s an advanced reader’s copy, available before you can buy it. Normally for reviewers and promotional giveaways.
Wife Unit: Cool!
Anthony: Well, it’s my policy to not accept promotional material including ARCs for books I recommend.
Wife Unit: But this is Gary’s book.
Anthony: Yes.
Wife Unit: You know how much I liked the first one.
Anthony: Yes.
Wife Unit: And…
Anthony: And?
Wife Unit: …
Anthony: ?
Wife Unit: It’s a good thing this couch is really comfortable.
Anthony: Um…
Wife Unit: I’m sure you would not be the first husband banished to the couch over an “ARC.”
Anthony: Um…
Wife Unit: The dog could use some company downstairs. He can keep you warm.
Anthony: Um, I think I’ll tell Gary thanks, that is really nice of him and send him our address.
Wife Unit: Thank you, Husband.
Now this story does not end here. Today I get in the mail the two ARCs.
Wife Unit: Oh! My book! Yay!
Anthony: Who loves you?
Wife Unit: You do! But… I just thought of something. If I read the ARC now, I’ll just have to wait longer for the next book.
Anthony: …
Anthony: I am so blogging this.
From My Current Work in Progress
They called themselves the WBKC—The Whimsical Billionaire’s Knitters Club. There were ten of them, and this month’s business was the debacle of the sudden war, and wool-blend socks.
Ha ha ha!
Wife Unit Birthday Dinner
Serves either 4 (couple and two growing boys) or 6 adults. Yes, I really am this awesome.
Surf
Wild Alaskan King Salmon (1.75 to 2 pound)
Kosher salt
Fresh ground pepper
Lemon Juice
Cook in 400 F oven until done. Use no other seasonings. If you do, turn in your PNW Native card and move back east with the rest of the unwashed heathens.
Turf
Baked Garlic Chicken
Chicken (with skin) thighs and drumsticks
Season Salt
Old Bay spice
Garlic Powder
Spice the chicken. Cook uncovered in 425 oven for 33 minutes, then set oven 400 F and put salmon in. Salmon and chicken will be done at the same time.
Comfort Food
Pan fried oysters
Medium or large oysters (2 jars or shucked)
½ cup Italian herb breadcrumbs
½ cup flour
Pat dry the oysters with paper towels. Mix the flour and breadcrumbs. Coat the oysters. Do not seasons unless using plain breadcrumbs. Fry in pan in canola oil at medium-high heat.
Salad
Seasonal Spinach Salad
Fresh apricots
Fresh raspberries
Fresh strawberries
2 avocados
Spinach
Candied walnuts
Crumbled blue cheese
Blue cheese dressing
Fresh ground pepper
Theoretically, this can be an entire meal. Mix ingredients in large salad bowl, except the avocado and blue cheese dressing, which is served on the side (most people decline to put dressing on this salad)
Bread
Rosemary round loaf
Sourdough round loaf
Serve with soft, unsalted butter
Wine
Serve with a very chided Louis Jadot Chardonnay or slightly chilled Pinot Noir
Cake!
Chocolate
Cream cheese chocolate frosting (various recipes)
The Quiet Intensity of Falling to Pieces
I’ve given up on hit stats, and gauge my blog posts in how they connect with readers in three ways, in order of increasing popularity:
- Did anyone comment?
- Did anyone send me mail?
- Did anyone link my post on their blog and comment?
The link is the Holy Grail of popularity indicators. While my post yesterday did not generate any links, it sure hit a nerve. It took one reader by surprise, and even the Wife Unit told me I needed to put warning labels on things like that.
Heh. Insert sheepish grin here. Whoops. Someone emailed me and asked why I wrote that. Why indeed.
Quite simply, my work-in-progress is kicking my ass. This novel is, unfortunately, a creative and emotional vampire.
Contemporary Young Adult was never on my horizon. I love reading it, I just never saw myself writing it. My love for genre fiction is deep, and more than that, I have such fun writing science fiction and fantasy. But when the plot for this novel hit me along-side the head, I knew I had to drop everything and write it.
The emotional intensity of my work-in-progress is high. The situation my main characters find themselves in is as absurd as it is heartbreaking, and as I approach the ending the intensity and emotional impact increases dramatically. I find myself in need of a creative outlet in order to not, um, explode or something. Because that would be messy.
I wrote The Pilot simply as a need to express the emotions bleeding from my work-in-progress. It was write it or fall to pieces.
Yes, that post was merely spill-over.
Christmas Poll Update
The Official Results: 10 people for Christmas, 16 spinners rallying to one of their own.
Maybe I can get a Christmas Sweater out of this.
Wife Unit Christmas Poll
Dear 9.3 Readers,
The Wife Unit was very specific this year. She wanted a spinning wheel. Not just any spinning wheel, but a certain make and model. Since a spinning wheel is a handy thing that can pay for itself, and the fact that she wanted it, I of course, great hubby that I am, got her the spinning wheel that she wanted.
So far, so good.
Except, the wheel was shipped from Spokane and arrived the very next day that I ordered it.
My plan is to wrap that sucker and stick it under the tree.
The Wife Unit, of course, thinks this is spousal snarkitude and wants to use the wheel now.
Thus, I leave the entire question of the Spinning Wheel Christmas Question entirely in your hands! Vote below. Voting closes December 2nd.
So Blogging This, Part V
[12:52:52 PM] heatherpa: I finished Gary’s book
[12:52:58 PM] heatherpa: When is the next coming out?
[12:54:35 PM] Anthony Pacheco: LOL
[12:54:40 PM] Anthony Pacheco: same time next year
[12:54:47 PM] heatherpa: but but but…
[12:54:56 PM] Anthony Pacheco: Once a year
[12:55:01 PM] Anthony Pacheco: He is working on book 3?
[12:55:08 PM] heatherpa: sigh you writers….
[12:55:15 PM] heatherpa: what do you do with your time? Write faster!
[12:55:26 PM] Anthony Pacheco: OMG I am so blogging this.
So Blogging That, Part IV
12:37 PM The Wife Unit:
Tigger is on my list right now
OMG I was winding a ball of yarn and he broke it
12:37 PM Anthony:
He’s a cat, honey.
You were playing with his toy.
The Things I Come Across in Book Research
A few days ago my oldest son asked The Wife Unit: “Just how long did you know Dad before you married him?”
Snicker.
The Tale of Two Shorts
Short #1: Despite ending and starting a new contract (one which keeps me busy, busy, busy), I finished my short I’ve referenced in this post.
It took me two rewrites to get it to a point where I was happy. During the last, the story took on a bleak tone despite the Hero Protagonist being an upbeat, happy-go-lucky guy. Poor Arune. I actually feel bad.
Short stories do not come easily for me, but I can see their value as a way to improve my novel-writing. Hitting a limitation of 7,500 words really threw me for a loop and I agonized for hours over what to cut and what to leave. It’s much easier making a 110k novel a 100k novel than it is to make a 10k short a 7.5k short.
But I did it.
Now for those of you volunteering to read it and wondering what it isn’t in your mailbox, I want The Wife Unit to read it first. Mainly because she proofreads, mainly because, well, she’s The Wife Unit. There are some perks, yanno.
So expect it in yer box, soon. Thank you for your patience.
Short #2: I actually turned in another short, to a brand-spanky-new publication, and had a great conversation with the new editor. The short is an except from my novel Bunny Noir, but it stands alone as far as a short story.
The fun thing, though, before I submitted it, I took this chapter and made it dark. Dark and twisted. It was already a bit gloomy, but I felt compelled to bump it up a notch, and the result, I do believe, is delicious. If it passes muster, I can’t wait to see it in print. Who can resist Lesbian Alien Libertarian Gun Nut Fiction?
Man I love writing, love it a lot. Even when I was pulling my hair out, the end result was worth it.
Reading Things Men Don’t Do
Have you ever watched a woman reading a book? I’m not talking in a stalker-like way, but just an observation?
If the book is particularly good, she will scrunch up her legs in that “I have my legs under me” way that women sit that is almost impossible for a man to replicate. I’ve tried. I think I hurt myself the last time I tried it.
When The Wife Unit gets going into a book, I’ll sometimes watch her because it’s one of the few times I can stare at her and she won’t notice. And she’s totally stare worthy.
I have it in my mind that the novels I write are “scrunch worthy.” I simply want more than engrossment, I’m after that feminine contortionist book sit.
There’s another effect I’m going for, the “I must finish this chapter before I pee” effect.
Not too sure that is woman specific. But I have observed several women bouncing in their chairs while reading a book, only to set it down and go running.
Scrunched legs and hold the pee. I’m a male novelist with ambition.
Something that sounds fun, but mostly isn’t.
Bleh. Say it with me, folks: bleh!
Not only was I sick on Sunday with a cold (the infamous MAN COLD), which still lingers in my body, I had a fever induced lucid dream in the wee hours of dawn.
I’ve talked about lucid dreaming before, where you are not a participant in some dream-world, but a in full control of your actions. On paper, this sounds good, doesn’t it?
Well, it rarely is. It is confusing and sometimes frighting. Imagine waking up, only you’re in your bed with someone who isn’t your spouse, sleeping away next to you. You are confused. Did you cheat on your spouse and don’t remember? If so, why is she still here? Is this really your spouse, and the other person some dream? Or is this some crazy nut-job who kindnaped your wife and is about to get all whacko on you?
See, I told you it wasn’t fun.
Subscribing to the nut-job theory, I got up and checked in on the kids. They were sleeping. So I went back to bed, contemplating the best way to approach this person. At this point I was sure I was dreaming.
But I wasn’t 100% sure. Eventually, I closed my eyes and “went back to sleep.”
Now, in a normal dream, a person follows along in her brain’s view of reality, like a first-person perspective movie, with little thought on what they are doing. The vivid, lucid dream is mired in rational thought.
So, when I woke up again, this is where the fun starts. Yup, that’s my wife. But am I still dreaming? If I get up and go pee, will I wet the bed? How can I tell? Basically, I had to lay there for twenty minutes, wide awake, before I could “believe” that what was around me was real.
Anyway, not much of a writing topic. Just so you know, Anthony is a little strange.
I do sometimes have a lucid dream that doesn’t contain a false awakening. I would be lying if I told you that wasn’t a little slice of dream awesome. Most of the time, unfortunately, I’m confused, and the irony of not even having my anchor available, from my last post on this subject, is not lost on me.
And this MAN COLD sucks.
My Blog is One Year Old Today
My little blog is one year old today.
I’ve learned a lot, picked up a blog harem, made a few mistakes, but persistence pays off. Every now and then, someone will query on “Anthony Pacheco Hack Writer”, and that will take him or her to… (wait for it)… ME!
If it is one thing I am appreciative of, is the friends I have made that have stuck to this online gig. I’ve had blogs I’ve followed where the authors stopped blogging.
And I felt loss. I never met them, but I missed them. And still do.
Please, don’t go.
Because I will cry.
So many fellow blogger people to thank and appreciate, I’ll just babble:
Kiersten: Kiersten is such a regular reader of my blog I call her Fiber Kiersten! Wait, that didn’t come out right. Opps, that didn’t sound right either.
I never had a little sister. But if I did, I would want her to be like Kiersten. I wuv ewe Kiersten!
And I really really want to read her books. So, you publisher people you, buy her books!
J.C. Heart: Her daughter is the Cutest. Baby. Ever. I love to just check in and read her blog. And if J.C. can squirt out a baby and keep writing, we all have no excuses to stop.
Alex Moore: We all knew of her writing talents and she was eventually outed as a beautiful woman. I only wish she posted more! And she occasionally sends me gun porn. How cool is that? I will tell you how cool. It’s WAY COOL.
B J Keltz: One of the most generous souls out there.
Courtney Summers: man I love Courtney’s writing, and she’s such a nice person.
Gary Corby: Gary is a classic literary pusher. The blog posts are always free. If you want the book, well, you have to wait. I have a severe case of Book Lust going here, which almost dives into “stalker” territory.
Larry Correia: A writer who dives into the political rant, Larry so gets his audience. Larry is spooky that way. Larry is going places.
Mornara’s Weblog: Joe, or whatever she is calling herself this month (heeee) has a nifty little blog going that got niftier now that she updates it frequently.
To all these people and the ones I didn’t list (because you stopped posting or I ran out of time or you’re an agent who doesn’t need to be poked at or whatever), thank you very much.
And, lastly, my most heartfelt thanks go to The Wife Unit, the ever beautiful Southern Lady and Wonder Mommy. I can think of no other existence than what I have now.
Well, maybe a published book or two. I think she would like that.
So blogging that.
The Wife Unit: I lost track of time reading your book!
Hack Writer: He he he!
Wife Unit: And it has a lot of sex in it!
Hack Writer: He he he! I intentionally went out of the way to be provocative.
Wife Unit: And your main character is crazy!
Hack Writer: He he he!
Hack Writer: So blogging this.
Wife Unit: …
Hack Writer: He he he! It’s the little things that count.
So Blogging That, Part II
“Grrrrr!”
I glance over at The Wife Unit. She is closing some YA Fantasy novel. Then she glares at me!
“What?”
“You writers! With your cliffhangers! I am annoyed.”
“Ha. Well, are you annoyed that you will never read that author’s books again, or annoyed that you have to wait until the next book comes out?”
“This is the next book! It’s in hardcover.”
“Are you going to buy the next book or not?”
“Yes.”
“Well, the author wins. He wins writing. You are annoyed only in that you don’t have the next book in the series. Ha ha ha!”
“Grrrrr!”
“I am so blogging this.”
“Grrrrr!”
Smack Talk at Chez Pacheco
The Wife Unit and I run a tight ship. Everyone must have good table manners, sugar drinks remain at the grocery store and dirty words must go unspoken.
Most of the time.
There is a time and a place for everything. Take for instance, losing at Halo 3.
I loved Halo. I played it solo, with my friend Kyle, with my friend Mike, with the brother-in-law; I played and played that game. It was a great science fiction story, and I am a sucker for grim, epic plots.
Sadly, I stopped playing Halo 2. I felt the writing of the story fell flat, and I just could not get into PVP. I felt PVP Halo is not heroic, and just not my cup of tea. I tried though, I really did. I was in it for the story, and the story was not there. It competed with Half-Life 2 for my time, and well, Half-Life 2 kicked its ass.
Now Halo 3 I tried to get into just because it looked so damn good on my Xbox 360. But alas, it was just meant to be, mostly because I skipped the prior version, and also there was just an embarrassment of riches out for the 360, such as Mass Effect, Bioshock and a dozen other killer titles.
Of course, I also started writing, and that was the end of most of my Xbox 360 time.
The rest of the family played Halo 3, however. The Wife Unit and I talked about it. Thing One could play the campaign, but Thing Two could not, nor could he watch. Thing One and Thing Two could play together, but only in PVP mode. Going on Xbox Live was not an option; I turned that off.
Occasionally I would play Halo 3 with Thing One. I didn’t like it, but since he liked it so much, I humored him. Yeah, humored him by dying. A lot.
My digital ninja skills were rusty from disuse. I could not keep up with someone who practiced.
Oh well, as long as everyone is having fun right?
Recently, the kids wanted to play with both parents as a “family activity.”
Family Activity my ass. They wanted to shoot us. Repeatedly. While giggling.
Sure. We hooked up the fourth controller and away we went.
So, there I am, trying to avoid Thing One. The Wife Unit, in her pink Spartan Armor, is nowhere to be seen. Thing Two, however, is just sitting in one spot. Carefully I zoom onto his head with the Battle Rifle. As I am about to pull the trigger—
WHAM!
The Wife Unit has snuck up on me and whacked me on the back of the head.
“He he he, I killed Daddy, he he he.”
Oookay. Now I am back in the game, running after The Wife Unit. Ah HA! There she is. With the Battle Rifle again, I go and line up a shot and—
WHAM!
Thing One has snuck up behind me and whacked me on the back of the head.
I am dead.
Again.
“Might want to watch your radar, Dad.”
OH REALLY? I MIGHT WANT TO DO THAT?
Grrrrr!
I respawn.
Thing Two runs me over with a vehicle.
I am in last place.
Even the Kindergartner has a higher score.
Now, I may be unpracticed, but I am not stupid. I shove my embarrassment deep down and turn it into something else. I run around the map, ignoring all the weapons until I find,
Hello? What’s this?
WHO'S YER DADDY?!?
I pick it up. It’s a hammer. A big hammer. A really really big hammer.
I cackle.
“What?” Everyone looks at my part of the screen. It’s kind of cheating, but I don’t care.
“I got something for your punk-asses!”
“Mom! Daddy said the A-Word!”
“Oh yeah?” I declare, “The A-Word is COMING FOR YOUS!”
“Whatever,” The Wife Unit says. Obviously, I am not even worthy of chastisement, such is my suckage at Halo 3.
The Wife Unit and Thing One go at it. They are contesting the top spot. I jump to the side of their slug fest, and KA-BLAM! The Hammer blows away everyone near me in an arc.
Announcer: “Double Kill!”
“What?” Thing One says looking puzzled.
“Ouch,” says The Wife Unit.
“He he…”
I obliterate the Kindergartner, cutting him off. He flies so far from my blow, his corpse falls off the map.
Announcer: “Killing Spree!”
“MOUHAHAHAHAHA! Who’s yer Daddy, huh? Who’s yer Daddy!? Hey, you all want to give me any more advice? Huh?”
I run to the nearest blip on my radar.
“It’s PEANUT BUTTER-JELLY TIME!”
KA-BLAM! Another kill.
“Who’s laughing now?”
KA-BLAM!
“Peanut-butter jelly with a baseball bat!”
Sadly, I didn’t win the match. They all started camping the route to the Hammer, or worse, picking up the Hammer first. But when I got the Hammer, they all ran. Like little girls.
But there was an important lesson here, one which I believe carries over to life in general.
If you’re gonna be a punk-ass, I’m going to call it out, rules or no rules.
And don’t taunt The Daddy.
Okay, that’s two lessons. No need to thank me, that’s just the kind of guy that I am.
IM Conversations with the Wife Unit, Part 2: The so-called benefits of marriage
The Wife Unit [3:54 PM]:
I start my mondo Vitamin D dosage todayAnthony [3:55 PM]:
is it a shotThe Wife Unit [3:55 PM]:
nope its a pill that I take once a weekAnthony [3:56 PM]:
Can it be a shot? So I can stick you in the butt with a needle?The Wife Unit [3:56 PM]:
um… No!!Anthony [3:56 PM]:
So much for the “benefits of marriage”!The Wife Unit [3:56 PM]:
LoL
Wife Unit Literary Influences
The Wife Unit has a sneaky literary influence on me. She has a penchant for historical mystery novels, or the character-driven historical novel. She introduced me to a type of book I use to by-pass, what I now call the “Über-researched” novel. A story full of show, but you can feel the undercurrents of the setting because the author made it come alive. The details are not in your face, but oozing from the page, taking you back to the time of the setting.
I started to appreciate this type of mystery, and as a researcher, cracking open one of these gems is a special treat.
I have one word for this type of book: NOM!
When I joined Twitter, I followed a few people I exchanged email with prior, and suddenly I had several followers who in turn were following the people I was following who followed me back. Did you follow all of that?
One of these people was Gary Corby. Gary is not a heavy Tweeter, but sometimes he would say something about his work in progress or the novel he wrote previously that would peak my interest. Gary seemed like a researching, fun writer, and his blog was a hoot. I will admit, after awhile, I just wanted to read the damn book. Like now, a clear case of book lust.
Now he has an agent, and his novel I was so interested in makes its way to bookstores in 2010 as the THE EPHIALTES AFFAIR. How exciting! I plan to immediately preorder it and hand it to The Wife Unit to read. Then I can harass her proper, with “Are you DONE WITH THAT YET?” and passive-aggressive husband behavior such as walking into the room when she is reading and delivering a big sigh.
In any event, at the very least, I shall enjoy finding a genre specific book in the Wife Unit Category before she does. These little one-ups keep me slightly ahead of the curve.
Lastly, if you like historical mysteries, bank on Mr. Corby. Five minutes in his blog will leave you drooling for more.
