300
I do not get writer’s block, but sometimes, for some unknown reason, a particular chapter will just feel like I am running uphill.
When that happens, I borrow a page out of Ken’s philosophy: at a bare minimum, three-hundred words are not insignificant. Therefore, if I can write 300 words in a particular day, I’ve contributed to my novel instead of bemoaning my lack of energy. One day soon, 300 turns to 600. Then 1200, and all is right in the world.
Left to my own devices, I am a prolific writer. Sometimes, in that quiet week of reflection that washes over me, slow and steady wins the race.
I call this the Zen of Ken.
Oo! Oo! A tag I can believe in!
At my house:
- 9mm
- 10mm
- .22L
- 5.56 NATO Ball
- .223 JHP
- .308 win match molly
Compared to many others, I am a man of few calibers. I am not a big fan of mix and match. All of my carry sidearms are in 9mm with the exception of “Boom Boom”, a backwoods hiking pistol.
How about you?
I’m still here
My client manager and I have been burning the midnight oil on several critical projects.
All the work makes me tired.
But you know what? We are both thankful to be working, so neither one of us will complain.
What is wrong with you?
Look, if you need advice on Second Base from the Internet, the answer should be no.
However, maybe you are shy. Maybe you are a researcher. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and answer your question:
Maybe.
How good of a kisser are you? Are you really good? Are you sincere? Did you shower and brush your teeth before your make out session?
Is she a good kisser? Does she smell nice? Do her eyes dance when they look at you? Does she put her fingers in your hair or hold you tight?
If the answers to all these questions are yes, then go for it. But DO NOT “grab”. Pet. Caress.
But, maybe you are unsure. Then, my friend, you need to simply just… wait for it… wait for it… ASK.
Ask her! Not me. The girl you are kissing! NOT ME.
Lordy. This advice was given unto you by Anthony Pacheco, Hack Writer. No need to thank me, that is just the kind of guy that I am.
Sincerely,
Anthony
PS. Kiersten, stop laughing at me. I do not have only myself to blame, I do not!
Sympathetic characters
The talented and lovely Lauren talks about sympathetic characters in her blog, Book in the Oven.
This is a post worthy of study to the writer.
Courtney Summers’ book, Cracked Up to Be also is a good study. Her main character, complete with appalling behavior, was sympathetic almost immediately. She did this is a sneaky fashion. Courtney, let it be known, is sneaky.
But I digress. Creating sympathetic characters is, I am convinced in a “hack writer” kind of way, a non-trivial literary accomplishment.
The Experts tell us the books people like to read need to be show and not tell. In doing so, it is easy to form a character in our minds that is almost as real as an actual person. So we place these literary people in our book, yet, in the guise of rushing to and fro for momentum and plot, it is easy to leave off the parts we know, as the writer, that the reader does not know.
Such as, why one should care about the character in the first place.
This is why having a beta reader or two is so important. It is not an easy thing to realize a character is unsympathetic, not because she actually is, but because of an unintentional error storytelling.
Check out Lauren’s post!
Peakish
Peakish
Peak”ish\, a. 1. Of or relating to a peak; or to peaks; belonging to a mountainous region. “Her peakish spring.” –Drayton. “His peakish dialect.” –Bp. Hall.
2. Having peaks; peaked.
3. Having features thin or sharp, as from sickness; hence, sickly. [Colloq.]
I am falling under the third definition for the past several days. I like the word peakish. Not many people use it. I can think of using it in the first context, easily.
“He walked into the smoky bar. The serving wench, a young lass, was not afraid to show off her peakish wares with a smile and gleam in her eye towards some silver coin and a warm, cheerful bed.”
Okay, maybe not.
Sunday Reflections, 18
“Police, at all times, should maintain a relationship with the public that gives reality to the historic tradition that the police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full-time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence.”
I LOL’ed, yes I did.
Below the line is link for an ad aimed at men. From a lingerie store, featuring a lingerie model. Selling lingerie.
If watching a punchy lingerie model proving a point offends you, do not click on the link. Oh, and not safe for some work environments.
For everyone else, this has been a timely public service announcement from Anthony Pacheco, Hack Writer. No need to thank me, that is just the kind of guy that I am.
Grump
I took a page out of Kiersten’s recent run-ins with the delete key and deleted an entire chapter from Your Little Sister.
I cannot help but feel a little foolish. I was enamored of the writing, specifically of the characterization and setting, but I royally boofed the plotting. It made no sense and actually had a plot hole you could drive a SUV through.
<DELETE>
My first major cuts on Your Little Sister. This is better than I was doing on Bunny Trouble, so I should not complain too much. Its a learning process, but I wish I did not feel I wasted my time because deep down, I know I did not.
It is where the cerebral meets the practical. I spent time writing that deleted chapter, and now that I know how to put in a better one, I have to wait because right now I am too sleepy to function.
Weeeeeee!
Loreena Mckennitt – Dante’s Prayer
When the dark wood fell before me
And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone
I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and fire
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars
Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We’ll rise above these earthly cares
Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me
Please remember me
Behold! The Power of Cheese!
NOT YOURS
What is that? Not into chocolate love? Well then, I have this little dish to tease you.
I am all about the big tease.
This is Garlic Chicken Cheese Enchiladas La Crema. This is what gets stuffed into the tortillas.
Looks good, does it not (that is me stiring this fine cheesy concoction)?
Yeah, that is my recipe. Not one that has been in my family for generations blah blah blah. The one I perfected after years of study in the kitchen.
It is so good, that I am keeping the recipie to myself. A form of currancy, if you will. If you want Garlic Chicken Cheese Enchiladas La Crema, you must get it from me direct. From the source. There is no exchange of cheese dishes. There is only the worship of cheese, and the application of appropriate bribery to Anthony. And if Anthony deems your bribe unworthy, then it is off to Taco Bell for you.
I Kiss You!
While I am immune to the meme going around, guilt-ing blog authors into revealing seven things about themselves on their blog, I do find myself wanting to share my little secret to success in life.
I am one hell of a cook. Let me explain.
Let us first form the basis of our little session, shall we?
Start with strawberries. Now, fresh ones are best but frozen will work because when we are done the mere strawberry will simply be a foundation to greater things. It is important that it is not dripping with water, and that it has a stem.
If you can get them, Washington strawberries are the best. Buy the organic ones. Strawberries are susceptible to chemical intrusion, as I will reveal shortly. A pound of these beauties will do.
Next, you will need dark chocolate, 70% to 90% pure cocoa. I use a snobby baker’s bar with French names I cannot pronounce. It is good. It is naughty, and it is just about to get naughtier. You will need sixteen ounces of this baker’s chocolate.
Now you need butter: salted butter. Why salted? You need to add salt to chocolate to bring out the bittersweet goodness. You can accomplish this with good butter. Three tablespoons will serve you well.
Not shortening. Not butter-substitute. Butter. From a cow. Soft butter at that.
Next, you will need a liqueur, Grand Marnier to be specific. A lot goes a long way. I suggest drinking some while cooking up your little slice of chocolate heaven. This is up to you.
You have your cast of characters, but now you need the tools of your trade to set the stage.
A saucier or double-broiler setup to melt the chocolate—If you are not experienced with melting chocolate, a double-broiler setup will work just fine. I use a stainless steel saucier, specifically designed to spread heat out, but then again, if I have been drinking the Grand Marnier, I get less punchy and simply heat water with a metal bowl floating on top of it.
You will need cookie sheets and standard wax kitchen paper.
Then, for the esoteric portion of this recipe of chocolate heaven, you need a syringe with a hypodermic needle. One will do, but you might as well buy a package of four or five.
You can get these at a pharmacy. Ask for syringes with a 21 gauge, 1 1/2 inch needle. Do not worry, they will not think you are a drug abuser, but they might think you are diabetic. If they do not carry that size, ask for something similar. These things are also orderable off the web.
Now we are ready to go for broke on the cooking! Time for prep: You will need paper covered cookie sheets, Grand Mariner in a shot glass, and a syringe.
Melt half the chocolate, a little bit of the time, in your double-broiler pan setup, and add two of the butter tablespoons.
Turn off the heat and let the liquid melt the rest of the chocolate. Heat, rather than accidental water, is usually the cause of chocolate freezing up. You can add cream to unfreeze chocolate and slowly melt it all again, but why bother? Chuck it and start over. This recipe, you see, must be perfect. The heat in the first half of the chocolate is more than enough to melt the second half of the chocolate.
Once melted, add the last of the butter and notice the chocolate as it takes on a dark, glossy color.
That means yum, by the way.
Quickly dip each strawberry into the dark chocolate love and put it on the wax paper. You can get fancy by using toothpicks and placing them upside-down on styrofoam, blah blah blah. We are not concerned with such things here.
You can simply leave the chocolate covered strawberries out to cool at room temperature. The chocolate purity and its melting point, coupled with the butter and lack of other liquids, will cause it to harden.
Once hardened, take the syringe, fill it with Grand Mariner, and inject a strawberry through the top near the steam. Do not put in so much that it squirts out the top, but do try to put in a good amount. In strawberries, there is a little cavity in their center. This is what you want filled with Grand Mariner goodness. It only takes two or three tries to get the hang of it.
Repeat as needed.
You can store these in Tupperware containers in a cool room. If you put them in the fridge, they may sweat and not look their best. Eat them on the same day.
This is where we come to the good part. These strawberries need no other decorations or fancy dribbling of white chocolate to form cutesy-pooh patterns. For this is a strawberry of bliss. The dark chocolate, the richness with the butter, the strawberry and the orange heady taste of the Grand Mariner all combine to give you a kiss. It is a chocolate kiss, a kiss from me to you; the sensual taste of it all in your mouth will make you close your eyes and think of a loved one as he or she kisses you. It is personal and intense; it is chocolate magic at its best.
Food may not be love, but sometimes it can be—naughty.
Blarg!
Say it with me folks, BLARG! And lo, there were 42,000 words!
The Blog Harem(TM) will be happy to know I am halfway done with Your Little Sister.
I’ve been up quite a bit with Your Little Sister. Demands, demands, I feed the demands.
Your Little Sister is, without a doubt, a good romp. I tire easily, though, and well, that is just the way it is. It is not like Your Little Sister has a choice in the matter. YLS, is mine.
Our Sacred Honor
“We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. – And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”
Heeee
In Your Little Sister, I have two supporting characters, Corporal Tiffany and Sergeant Brittney.
Yeah, I am having way too much fun with that one. It ought to be a crime.
Oh man, Your Little Sister cracks me up.
West
When you get off the Kingston ferry, you can drive west along Highway 104. Soon you are in a forest. In front of you, is the great Olympic Mountain range. This is a young mountain range, rugged mountains that only the skilled or the foolish (sometimes both) will climb.
On the other side of the mountains is a temperate rainforest, and beyond that, the rocky and wild North Washington Coast.
The view, of course is spectacular. When the sun is out, you can soak up miles of scenery. When it rains, the closeness of the forest grounds you to its beauty.
One does not need religion to be have spirituality, although I believe it helps. The mountains, even when you do not see them, dominate the area. Their roots are deep. Even in the fog, you know they are there. There is nothing in the world like them, and if you listen to what you see, you can hear them calling to you.
Short!
I cannot believe I am three hundred words away from finishing a short story. I never write shorts, but I was prompted by a nice piece of email the other day, so I said what the heck. I even have a deadline and everything. WOO WOO, nothing like a non-self-imposed deadline to get the blood flowing.
I really dig this story, it’s a bit smoldering. Okay, maybe a lot.
To my YA Critique Partner: I know, I know—I SUCK. I will be done with Chapter 9 soon, I promise.
Right after I go visit my new niece.
Yello – Call It Love
Never has a pair of musicians stood the test of time in my music library like the hip, funky Swedish duo Yello. They translate feeling into music and sound in such a dynamic way, I find myself listening to their music even after all these years. It is a timeless sound.
Call It Love
Yello
~
For all these years
I’ve been rushing and running away
I have seen the cities
The bars and the beaches are full
To keep away from you
I know I’ll meet you
One day, for a lifetime
I’m scared
One thousand years I could live on your smile
I’m scared
And run away forever
For all that time I’ve been crazy
There is no escape
Come back to the city
Come back in the hotel and wait
The city waits forever
To keep away from you
I know I’ll meet you
One day, for a lifetime
I’m scared
One thousand years I could live on your smile
I’m scared
And run away forever
I do not know.
Why am I writing a science fiction murder mystery?
I do not know.
Why is the main character less than human, but more than human at the same time?
I do not know.
Why am I writing this novel in first person present tense?
I do not know.
Why is the is best writing I have ever done?
I do not know.
Why is my blog harem so fascinated with the main character and the story?
I do not know.
So, what do I know?
I like cheese.
The Love of a Man
I rescued you when movie theaters full of people ignored your plight.
You were the best little cat. In your prime, snakes, birds, mice and voles were no match for your hunting prowess. Even thought we called you Coyote Bait for insisting on going outside when all the other neighborhood outside cats became snacks, you showed us all by roaming freely around your territory.
You were everything good in a cat, you even terrorized the dog for no particular reason. I loved how when you got older we called you ‘fireplace cat’ and we would light a fire so you could bask in the warmth.
I miss you terribly. Oh how I wish I could rub your little furry tummy one more time.
Goodbye, my feline friend.
Monday
My workday so far is going like this:
Your build is receiving code from the main lab (a forward integration)!
Your build is broken!
!@#$
Your build is receiving code from the main lab!
Your build is fixed!
Weeee!
Your build is receiving code from the main lab!
(Darth Vader Reverb) NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Your build is broken!
HEAD-DESK
Now, for your lovely non-geeks out there, if you do not know what any of this means, CONSIDER YOUR SOUL SAFE.
Sunday Reflections, 17
“It seems to me what is called for is an exquisite balance between two conflicting needs: the most skeptical scrutiny of all hypotheses that are served up to us and at the same time a great openness to new ideas … If you are only skeptical, then no new ideas make it through to you … On the other hand, if you are open to the point of gullibility and have not an ounce of skeptical sense in you, then you cannot distinguish the useful ideas from the worthless ones.”
Blog Change
I’ve added a new page to provide updates of my novels for the curious and curiouser. This seems a little weird doing this, but, at the end of the day, I am here to please my readers. And my readers are demanding!
Check it out.
If you think the page sounds strangely like query letters, you’re right. Shoot me some email if you have any feedback.
