Answer me these questions three

Mighty Kiersten asks:

What’s the recipe for Awesomesauce?

Answer:

Awesomesauce is subjective, and how it is used depends on the context. The answer, of course, is simply found via Google.

Kiersten the Great asks:

My husband was commenting on my comments the other day, and said, “And who’s that guy, the one who relates everything to girls and dating?”

To which I laughed and told him you’re a married father of two in your late thirties.

So, my question is, what does The Wife Unit think of stuff like that? I’d like to think I’d be cool with it, but in all honesty, it’d probably hurt my feelings if Hot Stuff was posting on the Barista girls.

(And this isn’t critical–I’m genuinely curious what The Wife Unit thinks, because obviously she has to be cool to be married to you in the first place.)

Answer:

Ah ah ah, just because you cherry pick which posts to reply to does not equate to me relating everything to girls and dating!

This definitely is the wrong place to go for topics about dating. I’ve been married longer than I have dated. Way longer. I can just see the Hack Writer Dating Advice post:

Hey Anthony, can I get some dating advice?

Sure. Is she nice?

Yes, but what I want to know is…

Do you think she is pretty?

Well ya she’s hot but…

Do you think she would make a good mother to your children?

Of course but that isn’t…

WELL THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR? You don’t need dating advice you need to get your HEAD out of your ASS and marry the woman!

Okay that’s pretty funny. Sorry, that whole dating comment had me laughing.

Now it is true I talk about girls and women. That’s because this is a blog about writing and the discovery process through writing. Since I deplore political correctness, if some 17 year-old bra-less nubile tart is flirting with me at the coffee shop (true story), I am going to so blog about that because that is so going in a book. A whimsical book scene for $1.90 (plus tip). I win!

The Wife Unit on the other hand, keeps me in line. She likes romantic fiction with the occasional juicy, sensual scene, and lo, I can write that. To be able to write that I have to be able to explore human sensuality. That she lets me do this is a testament to her confidence in me. I am thoroughly smitten with her even after all these years; I adore the woman.

Without her support and encouragement, my writing is nothing.

Kiersten, the Only Blog Reader Who Loves Me, asks:

[...] what is your first memory? And is it *actually* your first memory, or have you fabricated it based on pictures, video, or stories from your parents/relatives?

How can you be sure?

Answer:

I have researched the subject of memory and keep current with the latest findings, studies and theories. This was necessary to write Bunny Trouble but also in part because I have an extraordinarily gifted long-term memory. I can remember as far back as when I was a toddler.

“Memory fabrication” is a simplification of recall and emotional states. We all have a memory filter that can be unconsciously modified or, in some circumstances, intentionally set aside to get at the raw data. In times of stress, our perception of events can (and almost always will) narrow, and then when we attempt to recall those events our mind fills in the blanks. It is an extraordinary complex system and utterly fascinating.

Is that a fabrication when that happens? I do not believe so. It’s just how the mind works. There are ways one can examine a memory to see if it is something true or something you wish to be true. One way to do this is to think about the other senses rather than sight. What is your recollection of the sounds you are hearing? A key focus is what you smell. If you can remember something with an associated smell, that is a powerful memory. It’s probably about as true as you can get.

With all that said, I am not going to answer your question—unless you really want me to. I am very sure of my first memories, and I am very sure they are not fabricated. They are unpleasant and raw and it has been my experience talking about it makes people sad and depressed. On the other hand I am perfectly willing to talk about what I can recall. When all is said and done, I saw much worse later. Much worse.

There ya go. Now Kiersten can go to the other 7.3 readers and go “Ptththththtt! Your NaNoWriting made you miss the Hack Writer Q&A. No “A” for you. You come back in 300 posts!”